I remember growing up with the animated “Alvin and the Chipmunks” cartoon show. It wasn’t really all that bad in those small 20-minute increments. Here we are several years later, and now a major studio has tried to take what was once a decent group of characters and expand them into an incredibly painful movie for the second time.
Alvin (Voice of Justin Long) and his brothers Simon (Voice of Matthew Gray Gubler) and Theodore (Voice of Jesse McCartney) are three chipmunks with the ability to talk. Not only that, but they are also rockstars. The film starts at one of their shows where their guardian, Dave (Jason Lee) is injured and has to recuperate in the hospital. Dave decides to leave them under the supervision of their aunt and her grandson, Toby (Zachary Levi), but when the aunt is injured as well, it’s all up to Toby to look after them.
The chipmunks begin going to school and are bullied around a bit at first, but Alvin eventually becomes accepted in the jock group and even becomes part of the football team. Meanwhile, the chipmunks’ ex-manager, Ian (David Cross), finds a new group to promote, three singing, female chipmunks: Brittany (Voice of Christina Applegate), Jeanette (Voice of Anna Faris), and Eleanor (Voice of Amy Poehler). Unfortunately, the female chipmunks don’t know just how evil Ian is.
I know it’s rather cruel to pick on the storyline of a kids’ film, but that’s where almost all of the problems lie in this film. It’s such a thin storyline, full of predictability, leaving no room for any surprises whatsoever. It’s basically a by-the-numbers good vs. evil flick that couldn’t be less entertaining.
The sad thing is, the writers didn’t really have to think of much of a story because, like them, we know that the story is merely a template for them to throw in as many musical numbers from the chipmunks and chipettes as possible…and that’s certainly not helping the film much either.
Do you remember the classic recordings of the chipmunks singing Christmas songs? They were pretty good. Not great, but fun to listen to at times. In this film, they try to have the chipmunks sing many different styles of songs, and it simply doesn’t work. It’s like listening to the songs on fast-forward, which is merely annoying.
The comedy is at a very low level and includes fart and toilet jokes. At one point, Alvin quotes “The Silence of the Lambs” for a joke. Now this is purely a kids’ movie as there is nothing here for adults, so what kind of kid is going to understand fava beans and a nice Chianti?
At the end of the year, when making up my worst films of the year list, this flick presents itself as a prime candidate. It’s one of the longest 80-minute movies I’ve ever sat through. It’s like listening to air squeaking out of a balloon very slowly for the entirety of its runtime. If only the film had actually been on fast-forward…
1.5/4 stars.
You can read this and other movie reviews in my column at The Richmond Examiner.